Luce O'Steen (she/her)

Informed by my lived experience as a (non-binary) trans woman, I understand the vast nuances of the gender-expansive community -- good, bad, and ugly. Informed by many BIPOC educators, my approach is underpinned by a decolonial understanding of the gender binary being closely tied to White Supremacy, Capitalism, and Colonialism. While those systems of oppression may not frequently come up in your session, bringing their influence into conscious awareness is key to finding deep peace.

I've been studying non-monogamy both personally and professionally for over 6 years, during which time I have had my fair share of hard-learned polyamory lessons. Living one's life outside the monogamy script is *hard* and a decision not to be taken lightly. Polyamory is the single most potent growth/healing catalyst that I have ever witnessed (personally & professionally). It will trigger you unlike anything else... please, use it as the opportunity to metabolize/compost your sh*t that it is!

The foundation of SFBT is the imagination. "What do you want?" is consistently one of the most difficult questions for my clients to answer. Many of us, especially the most marginalized of us, have been taught that what we want either doesn't matter or makes us bad, so we repress our desires in order to survive. Healing is the necromantic process of killing the false you in order to resurrect your dreams. If you had the power to transform your life, what would it look like? Your answer matters.

Narrative therapy is perhaps the most explicitly political of all the therapy theories. It takes into account systems of supremacy/oppression in its analysis of "dominant discourses". As a trans woman, Narrative therapy is special to me because it asks the question, "What stories have others written about you?" and challenges clients to take the pen into their own hands and write their story for themselves. In this political climate, few efforts are more crucial for trans liberation.

Self-love is foundational to peaceful communities. As a polyamorous trans woman, this lesson is one that the Universe has uniquely equipped me to share with my clients. To quote Uncle Iroh, "Pride is not the opposite of shame, but it's source. True humility is the only antidote to shame." Systems of supremacy/oppression have so deeply ingrained in us a felt sense of not being enough. Every time you resist that propaganda within yourself, you are actively building a better world for all of us <3

If I had $1 for every time a new client told me they "don't think [they] have trauma" because "[their] life wasn't as bad as ______" or "[they] never experienced _______" then I could retire already. Honey, if you are Queer, you have almost certainly experienced complex trauma -- especially if you've lived in the South. Contorting yourself to prevent relational rejection is a survival mechanism. Even if you believe you have a place to belong authentically now, your brain may need convincing.

If I had $1 for every time a new client told me they "don't think [they] have trauma" because "[their] life wasn't as bad as ______" or "[they] never experienced _______" then I could retire already. Honey, if you are Queer, you have almost certainly experienced complex trauma -- especially if you've lived in the South. Contorting yourself to prevent relational rejection is a survival mechanism. Even if you believe you have a place to belong authentically now, your brain may need convincing.